Sixth Grade History

Actual Answers to Sixth Grade History Tests
 

  Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in 
hydraulics   They lived in the Sarah Dessert  The climate of the Sarah 
is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

  The Bible is full of interesting caricatures  In the first book of 
the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree  One 
of their children, Cain,asked, "Am I my brother's son?" 

  Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made 
unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients  Moses 
went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments  He died before he 
ever reached Canada.

  Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

  The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we 
couldn't  have history  The Greeks also had myths  A myth is a female 
moth.

  Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that 
name.

  Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people 
advice  They killed him  Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.
After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

  In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and 
threw the java.

  Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks  History calls people 
Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.

  Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul  The 
Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made 
king  Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus." 

  Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing 
the fiddle to them.

  Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw.

  Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for 
the same offense.

  In midevil times most people were alliterate  The greatest writer of 
the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also 
wrote literature.

  Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple 
while standing on his son's head.

  Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a 
success  When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted 
"hurrah." 

  It was an age of great inventions and discoveries  Gutenberg 
invented removable type and the Bible  Another important invention was 
the circulation of blood  Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure 
because he invented cigarettes and started smoking  And Sir Francis 
Drake circumcised the world with a -foot clipper.

  The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare  He 
was born in the year , supposedly on his birthday  He never made 
much money and is famous only because of his plays  He wrote tragedies, 
comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter  Romeo and 
Juliet are an example of a heroicouplet  Romeo's last wish was to be 
laid by Juliet.

  Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes  He 
wrote Donkey Hote  The next great author was John Milton  Milton wrote 
Paradise Lost  Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

  During the Renaissance America began  Christopher Columbus was a 
great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic.
His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.

  Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim's 
Progress  The winter of  was a hard one for the settlers  Many died 
and many babies were born  Captain John Smith was responsible for all 
this.

  One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks 
in their tea  Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the 
post without stamps  Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had 
to pay for taxis.

  Delegates from the original  states formed the Contented Congress.
Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of 
the Declaration of Independence  Franklin discovered electricity by 
rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself 
cannot stand." Franklin died in  and is still dead.

  Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure 
domestic hostility  Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right 
to keep bare arms.

  Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent  Lincoln's 
mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built 
with his own hands  Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the 
Emasculation Proclamation  On the night of April ,, Lincoln went 
to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving 
picture show  The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly 
insane actor  This ruined Booth's career.

  Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time.
Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy.
Gravity was invented by Issac Walton  It is chiefly noticeable in the 
autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.

  Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large 
number of children  In between he practiced on an old spinster which he 
kept up in his attic  Bach died from  to the present  Bach was the 
most famous composer in the world and so was Handel  Handel was half 
German half Italian and half English  He was very large.

  Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf  He was so deaf he 
wrote loud music  He took long walks in the forest even when everyone 
was calling for him  Beethoven expired in  and later died for this.

  The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and 
catapulted into Napoleon  Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his 
power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't have any 
children.

  The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire 
is in the East and the sun sets in the West  Queen Victoria was the 
longest queen  She sat on a thorn for  years  She was a moral woman 
who practiced virtue  Her death was the final event which ended her 
reign.

  The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and 
inventions  People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing 
by machine  The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to 
spring up  Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the 
work of a hundred men  Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis  Charles 
Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species  Madman Curie 
discovered radio  And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.